Redemption
by Imtiaz
Summary: Truths will always out. How far will Robert and O'Brien go to keep their individual betrayals from Cora, especially when they discover each other's dark secret...
1. Chapter 1

**Part One**

They trailed back from the church in a solemn procession. A muted melancholy held the group in a quiet discontent, with all attempts at small talk dissolving into a mist of grief.

Each of the staff descended into their default role, resorting to the strange comfort of their chores, grateful for the distraction their tasks provided. That was, except Daisy, whose small form marked out a dark silhouette from where she rested upon the bench on the lawn.

At the front of the house the Crawley ladies stepped out of the cars. Lord Grantham stood aside, watching his daughters enter the house and waiting to greet his guests, Sir Richard, Cousin Isobel and Cousin Matthew, with a formal handshake, a kiss on the cheek and for the latter, his deepest condolences.

Finally, Carson helped Cora to step out of the car as the others descended into the house.

"M'lady, are you quite better?" he asked.

"Much, thank you Carson. And yourself?"

He nodded his reply with a smile. Shutting the door of the car, he tapped the side, signalling for the driver to park up. He waited for Lady Grantham to move off but instead she remained where she stood, inhaling deeply.

"Will you not come in?" he asked.

"You know, I think I'd like to take a walk. I'd like some fresh air," she explained.

"As you wish m'lady." He moved off to go inside, leaving Cora alone with her thoughts.

Alone at last, Cora turned around, staring out across the grounds. Across the way she could make out the shape of a young woman, stranded on a sea of isolation. Cora's heart clenched in sympathy as she realised who it was, sat there, alone with her thoughts. She wondered whether she should leave the girl in peace, before finally acknowledging her own loneliness and indulging her own desire for some company at this moment, some compassion, some...some..._something_. She walked the moderate distance, bridging the void between them.

"Daisy?"

Daisy shot up, quickly wiping her damp cheeks with the backs of her fingertips.

"Sorry, m'lady. I was just-"

"It's okay, it's okay" she said reassuringly. She let the girl compose herself for a second.

Straightening her back, the young maid allowed herself a brief, albeit false, smile for the sake of her boss.

"Can I help you m'lady?" she asked, hoping to be dismissed as soon as possible.

"Please..sit down." Daisy done as she was asked. The slight slump of her back displayed the enormity of the weight that rested on her shoulders. The older woman sat down next to her on the bench, resting her hands in her lap and staring out across the distance. Both sat in amicable silence for a moment.

"It's been quite a day hasn't it..." Lady Crawley stated, the statement trailing into a mutual understanding. Daisy allowed herself a brief sidewards glance of acknowledgement.

"Quite a year," Daisy added, biting her lip to contain the well of emotion that threatened her voice.

Cora nodded her agreement, acknowledging the implications for both their situations. Her focus rested on her locked palms that rested in her lap, dwelling on the resonance in Daisy's words.

"It was a wonderful thing you done, Daisy." She told her, commending the girl on her selfless actions.

Daisy shook her head vigorously, closing her eyes as her bottom lip wavered with extent of her guilt. The tears seeped through the barriers, resting in heavy droplets on her eyelashes before dripping sorrowfully down her cheeks.

Cora felt impelled to disregard all English modes of formality that had been imposed upon her over the years and reached an arm around the poor child's shoulders, gripping her as Daisy's overwhelming self-hatred caused her to fracture inside. She crumpled in upon herself, her face falling into her palms as she leant on her knees, unable to defend herself from the tiny demons that festered on her self-worth and stole away the last ounce of dignity that she possessed.

Cora gently rubbed her back, her heart breaking for this poor creature who'd been exposed to more pain than her young years should have allowed.

"I lied. It was all one, big stupid lie!"

"It was a...beautiful fallacy."

"It wasn't! I let him believe that I loved him. Who does that?"

Lady Crawley rolled her eyes with how endearing her words were; how much Daisy was yet to learn about the world.

"Everybody, Daisy; everybody does that. Unless they're very, very lucky."

Daisy swallowed down the lump in her throat, slowing pulling herself to sit up.

"It doesn't make it okay" she said sadly. Lady Crawley's hand sloped away. She gave a slight nod; she couldn't argue.

"I let him die...living a lie." Daisy whispered.

"Would you want to know the truth...if it was you?" Cora asked her, looking her straight in the eye.

"Yes." Daisy retorted, totally sure of her answer, but immediately regretting her tone. "M'lady, I mean, yes I would." Daisy started to realise her own impertinence and wished to detach herself from the situation.

Lady Crawley pondered her own response, would she want to know the truth? Or would she rather let the world carry on around her, protecting her from the awful reality.

"Sometimes, Daisy, sometimes people prefer to deceive themselves...sometimes it's easier to live in ignorant bliss...even when you know the truth."

Glancing back over her shoulder she saw Robert standing at the front of the house, watching her from afar.

"Sometimes, the truth is too difficult to accept."


	2. Chapter 2

Hi all, apologies for not introducing myself when I submitted the first chapter, I'm still finding my way around. I'm Lou, pen-name Imtiaz. Thanks very much for the reviews and thank you to anybody else who is reading this- I hope that you are enjoying it! I look forward to reading your comments and especially look forward to reading your stories. I hope to update again within the next couple of days. Enjoy x

**Part Two**

Cora observed her reflection in the mirror. Leaning her elbows on her dressing table, she rested her chin on the backs of her hands, gazing deeply into her into the deep blue eyes that stared back at her. Her exhaustion draped heavily on her features; the toil of the past few years, and weeks especially, had managed to snag heavily on previous lines of laughter and happiness.

A knock at the door broke her meditation.

"How are you feeling, darling?" he asked. She watched him in the mirror as he stopped in the middle of the room.

"A little tired," she admitted as she removed her long black gloves. He watched her gentle movements and was stung by a pang of guilt as he acknowledged the sheer beauty that he had jeopardised by his mindless actions with Jane.

"Everyone's going to stay for dinner, but Cousin Matthew insisted I check you are feeling up to it?"

She laid the gloves against her dresser and proceeded to remove her earrings.

"Of course," she said simply.

"Why don't you call O'Brien?" he asked, referring to the fact she was undressing herself.

She pushed herself up from her chair as he watched her questioningly. So much had passed between them: both still mourned desperately for the loss of their unborn son, an unspoken taboo that lingered between them like a dirty secret; both had watched the multiplicity of troubles their daughters had endured, with each other, with their prospective lovers, with life; and both had seen the best and worst of the other, had reached a new place in their relationship. A place of which was not passionate in either extreme, of love or anger. Instead, it was just a place of miscommunication, misunderstanding and miserable loneliness.

Cora finally stole her attention back from the numbing detail of the floor.

"Darling, what is it?" Robert asked. She closed her eyes, swallowing down the pain with the lump in her throat. She turned away from him and walked round to her own side of the bed. She wished she could turn the clock back five years. She wished she could talk to him like she used to. She wished she could rid herself of the nagging doubt that sat on her shoulder, whispering in her ear that Robert didn't love her as much as he used to.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I'm just being silly." She plastered a smile on her face. "I'm just tired. Please would you call O'Brien?"

"No. Not until you tell me what's bothering you." He said, his face etched with genuine concern. He took a few timid paces to where she was stood. She sat heavily on the bed, the fragility of her demeanour nearly breaking him.

"Do you think," she began "...that it should have been me- today?"

She finally mustered enough courage to look up at him.

"What?" his face contorting with the sheer horror of her words.

"Lavinia had her whole life ahead of her. And me...I'm just-"

"Stop it! Stop this at once. I won't hear of it."

Cora needed to escape; the remnants of her illness had seemed to dampen her senses and the emotion of the day had caused her to be more frank that she ever ought. She stood abruptly, needing to step out of the stifling atmosphere, frightened by her own behaviour, not recognising herself.

But, as she made to move past him he gently grabbed her wrist. She paused in her tracks.

Both froze. It was the first time in weeks they had approached something of a true expression of their emotions.

He slowly turned to face her; she kept her focus squarely on her escape route which manifested itself as the bathroom door, only a few feet away from her.

"Cora..."

Still she could not bear to turn and look at his face.

"Please..."

He moved to take hold her by the arms, guiding her body towards his. As ever, he knew how to make her body yield and she felt a wave of emotion soften her body as she exhaled. Finally, after his agonising wait, she looked him in the eyes, preparing herself for the onslaught from her previous confession.

He moved one hand to cup her beautiful jaw-line, stretching his fingertips into her hair.

"If I'd have lost you...I would _not _be able to carry on. You are my life. And I pray that you can forgive me for the way I've treated you...I have not been a very good husband of late and you deserve so, _so_ much better."

She squeezed her eyes shut, sighing heavily before turning her face ever so slightly so that she could place a gentle kiss against his hand. She smiled against his skin, opening her eyes, which were glazed with unshed tears.

He pulled her small frame closer to him, guiding her face to his own. With an unbridled intensity which had been absent for some time, their lips met in a fervent embrace which snatched them both back from the brink of insanity and filled their blood with the zeal of their insurmountable connection.

He kept his arms firmly wrapped around her back as the kiss finally, begrudgingly, broke. He rested his forehead against hers.

"Never forget how much I love you," he whispered. She moulded herself into him, resting her face in the crevasse of his neck, finally reunited with her lover.

Only O'Brien could ruin the perfect moment, as she strolled into the room, intruding upon the couple's intimacy. They immediately broke apart.

"Miss O'Brien, I would very much appreciate it you were to respect my wife's privacy and have the common courtesy of knocking."

"Yes m'lord. I apologise. Sorry, m'lady. Excuse me." Embarrassed, she stepped out and shut the door behind her.

"I really don't see why you insist on keeping her." He told his wife plainly. Cora allowed a wry smile and offered no answer. She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"She's a good ally. She's been good to me." Outside the door, O'Brien cringed at the words.

"Admittedly, she did do a wonderful job of caring for you when you were ill. But still, there's something too shady about her for my liking."

Cora pouted, a newly-formed smile adorning her lips, making Robert forget what he was complaining about in the first place.

"Send her in on your way out would you, darling."

Cora finally made her way into the bathroom as the tension seeped from her bones, relieved that they had made somewhat of an amends.

Outside the bedroom, O'Brien was waiting. Lord Grantham briefly acknowledged her as he stepped out.

"O'Brien."

"M'lord. The others are taking tea in the library."

"Thank you." He made to walk away.

"Sir, just to inform you, we putting an advertisement up for Jane's replacement this morning."

"Right."

"Will be difficult to replace, wouldn't you say m'lord." She glanced sideward, knowing exactly what she was implying.

"Well, she wasn't here very long so..."

"Made quite an impression on some people, from what I can tell Sir. Although, perhaps that's not always a good thing, is it..."

With that, she stalked into the bedroom, leaving Robert alone with is thoughts. What did she know...?


End file.
